A Mustard Seed

I have a horrible time at being level headed and not getting stressed in a situation.

For example, John had his second interview for a position at the University of Utah Hospital today in Salt Lake. This is an awesome possible job that would change our lives. I want him to get it so badly, that I over think things and worry about it non stop. John told me about how his interview went and all I did was pick out the bad things and focus on them...saying that we're screwed.

Through this whole process of him applying for the job, waiting for an interview, then waiting for a call for the second interview, and now waiting to hear about if he got the job or not, I have prayed like cuh-razy. I've never prayed this hard or this much before. And now I can say with conviction that prayer DOES work. Yes, you might not get the answer you want. But you will get the answer you need. Who'da thunk. My mom was right. All I had to do was pray with faith and an open heart.

One of the biggest things I have a problem with, is I hate not knowing how something is going to turn out or what people are thinking. What's even worse, is I know I have no control over that, whatsoever. Yet, I choose to stress over it. (Constantly, I wish I had super powers and could read people's minds...)

This experience, which is far from over, has taught me to turn things over to the Lord. I have to let him take care of things as he knows exactly how they should go. I have had to learn, and am still desperately learning, to be okay with something if it doesn't go the way I want or planned them to go. Now, if we don't go to the restaurant I want to, or are too late for the movie of choice, I don't freak out. But for something this HUGE...let's just say it's been scary living with me while going through all of this.

My oh-so-wise mother keeps telling me "If John doesn't get this job, that means that something better for HIM and for you BOTH will come along."

I JUST HATE WAITING.

with a passion...

Everything will happen in the Lord's timing. He knows what is meant for John and I. I have never been so scared, worried, stressed, happy, or have had so much faith in my Heavenly Father as I do now.

Having faith is one of the hardest things to have. 1 year ago, my faith was pretty much non existent. Today, I have more faith than I know what to do with. Yes, it might be the toughest thing I am going through at the moment, but I trust my Father in Heaven more than I trust myself. Heck, I trust him more than my husband. And that speaks volumes.

"The path to heaven runs through miles of clouded hell, right to the top"

The only way anyone can make it through those miles of clouded hell is by having faith that everything will be okay. Everything will work out exactly how my Father intended.

All we have to do is have as much faith as a mustard seed.



Side note: this is a song by SafetySuit, my favorite band, that has helped so much through hard times. I think it was written so perfectly. For too many reasons, this is my theme song.