Being a Mom

It's been a few months since my last post, and a LOT has happened since then.

First off, I'm sitting, nursing my daughter in her room. Yep, no longer pregnant. And I want to scream from the rooftops, "I MADE IT THROUGH MY FIRST PREGNANCY!!!" I'll be writing about my birth story later this week, so stay tuned for that. But first, let me introduce you to someone so dear to my heart, Eloise Esther Memmott.

 

Second, I forgot what it was like living in Arizona during the summer. And oh boy, I miss Utah more and more each day. Not only the weather and beautiful summers, but the awesome people that live there.

Lastly, I'm a Mom. And I've never done anything so exhausting, stressful, yet so rewarding in my entire life.

Let me explain.

Exhausting? Yep. I wake up around 4 times each night (on a good night) to feed my daughter. I knew I wouldn't sleep much, but man, I should have slept my entire third trimester just so I could remember what sleep was like! It's exhausting being the sustenance, milk bags, sole provider of nutrients that this little human needs, whatever you would like to call it. And when she's hungry, I'm required to drop everything I'm doing and obey her ever whimper. If not, well then nobody is happy. All those happy first time moms and experienced moms never said anything about how debilitating nursing would be. They just kept saying how awesome it is to be so close to your child and be able to provide everything they need. (Don't get me wrong, I do enjoy being so close to my daughter.) And not to mention, IT'S FREE. No, it's not really free. There is a fee for breastfeeding. And that fee is my time. There is a huge pile of laundry that has yet to be folded sitting on my bed, my dogs feel neglected, and don't even ask me what's for dinner. I would say close to 70% of my day is spent nursing Eloise or pumping. That leaves 30% to get sleep, eat something, hopefully shower, and take care of the duties around the house. All I have to say, is both of my mothers in law had 13 kids. I have a whole new respect for them (and all other moms) because it seriously takes a village to raise a child {let alone 13}. And I'm only on week 3!

What's stressful about being a mom? Well for starters, Eloise hasn't quite got that talking thing down. She only knows how to cry (we're working on it). And when it's 3 in the afternoon, I haven't showered, have only eaten 2 slices of cold pizza from dinner last night, am going off of 4 hours of sleep, and have a crying newborn who I just nursed and has a clean diaper and I have NO clue what is the matter, things tend to get stressful. I've read a few studies that show that you can't hold a baby too much. I beg to differ. You can hold a baby too much, when they start to cry the moment you put them down and will only stop crying when they are picked back up. Trust me, I would know. It's stressful not being able to get anything done around the house because my baby doesn't like the bouncer, swing, or anything other than my arms.

So how is being a mom "so rewarding?" I can't even begin to explain. Nothing will ever top that moment when I first held Eloise. All the pains of labor and deliver became a figment of my imagination. The world just stopped as this little angel looked up at me, and then proceeded to scream. Everything is worth it when I see her little mouth turn upward in her sleep. Or when she holds my finger. I know she doesn't quite know who I am or what's going on, but when grandma is holding her and she won't stop crying until I take her, it just makes all of these hard times and very challenging circumstances worth while; to know that I am everything that my daughter needs. I would do all of this, all the sleepless nights, spit up, and dirty diapers over again in a heartbeat to see my little girl look up at me.

I know things are only going to get more difficult. She will try my patience (as I tried my parent's), push the limits, and make it difficult to be her parent more than a friend. But I know that it will just get even more rewarding to see her walk, graduate high school, and pursue her dreams. All I can say is I am so excited to go on this journey. And ever more excited that her daddy is my husband.

I heard this song a few months ago and it couldn't be more true. Although it's from a father's perspective, it illustrates perfectly how I feel.

 

When it's all said and done, I couldn't have asked for a better job than being a mom. I couldn't have dreamed of a cuter daughter to make all of this worth it. And I couldn't have a better partner in crime, lover, and person of all things awesome to go through this with than my husband.