Never in my life have I felt more inadequate to complete a job than I do now with probably the biggest job in the world.
Motherhood.
I don't think that these feelings came about from my lack of being able to keep my child happy 24/7, or the fact that sometimes she has massive blow outs no matter what brand or size of diaper I use, or perhaps maybe it's because she was a great sleeper and now decided she needs to wake up after 4 hours, and then every 1-2 hours after that.
No, I think these feelings came about from being around other moms.
Yes, you read that correctly. I think my feelings of not being worthy to be a mom or have the knowledge to be a mom come from other women who are in an extremely similar boat that I'm in. How does this happen? Simple. Every mom is trying to do her best at taking care of this little human being and raise them to the best of her ability. But when someone else comes strolling in, in their off-brand, hand-me-down stroller with a diaper bag that isn't Petunia Pickle Bottom, and their daughter isn't wearing "Insert Expensive Hair Bow Company Here" or moccasins from "That One Place That Steals Your Child's College Tuition", the only thing that comes to mind is...
The truth of the matter is, with over 7 billion people on this lovely planet of ours, there is bound to be more than one parenting technique and decision. (Mind blown.) I'm not quite sure where this entitlement of "My way of parenting is better than yours" came from. I'm pretty sure when I was growing up, or when my parents or grandparents were little, there wasn't this huge pressure to do things like Mrs. Johnson down the street. And if you chose differently, there would be some serious judgement placed upon you.
Who knows.
Maybe there was.
I could be completely wrong in this line of thinking, but I think that things nowadays have gotten lots worse
To vaccinate or not.
To buy organic or not.
To pierce ears or not.
To circumcise or not.
To nurse or not.
To have an un-medicated birth or not.
To get professional pictures every month or have a roof over your head.
Okay, maybe that last one was a bit dramatic.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I think the vast majority of mothers want what is best for their children; they will do everything in their power to make them happy and raise them in the values and standards that they believe to be best.
So why do we do have to bash other moms for not doing things your way?
This whole post started when a mom in a Facebook group I'm apart of asked how to help their 4 month old child sleep longer because they kept waking up every 2 hours at night. I offered some advice that my doctor gave me at Eloise's last doctors appointment. Immediately, two other moms started criticizing my advice and saying how horrible I would be if I actually did that and that no mom in their right mind would do that to their child.
Hold up.
It's not like I just pulled this stuff out of a unicorn's rear while it was playing Ring Around the Rosies with a leprechaun on Leap Day. My doctor, who spent 4 years in medical school, a number of additional years studying pediatric medicine, then actually practicing said medicine for a countless number of years, said I should try this. And I was just trying to help a fellow mom who ASKED for suggestions. I, personally, never asked for suggestions from someone who would jump down my throat. I'm pretty sure I never asked for advice on said topic in the first place.
What makes me feel the most inadequate, and people should be ashamed of, is it's not like Eloise is my 16th kid and I've got this mom thing down to a T. I already feel like I don't know what I'm doing, my emotions have seen better days, and I'm doing my darndest to make this little one happy and healthy. I don't need some mom who's kid is 9 months older than Eloise telling me what I'm doing completely and utterly wrong and that they "rolled their eyes" at my parenting choices.
Why, as mothers, can't we just support one another? Of course there are going to be differences. Life would be pretty vanilla if we all did the same exact thing.
Let's leave peer pressure for the high school years. Better yet, let's just get rid of peer pressure and let everyone choose what they want to do.
AND LET'S BE OKAY WITH IT!
