Tristan's Diagnosis

The day has finally come! We FINALLY have some answers!!

Tristan has been diagnosed with Supermanatosis, i.e. training to be the next Superman.

But really, we don't have a legit diagnosis. As you could probably guess, his MRI came back normal; no damaged, missing, or extra pieces.

And I'm okay with not getting any definitive answers.

I think. (If making up a silly diagnosis to help me move through this, then he has 529 silly diagnoses)

You see, it's funny how our brains work. After we got the news that his hearing was just fine, the next week I started to notice how much he really *does* hear and listen. I noticed that he was more responsive, he would sign more words and instigate signing instead of waiting for us to ask him to sign what he wanted. He would follow directions (a little better) and really actually listen.

I had been focusing too much on the fact that he was failing his tests (for reasons we may never know) that I had failed to notice all the little things he was accomplishing; I wasn't looking at the big picture. In the almost 4 weeks since his hearing test, he can now sign Mom and Dad and put 2 or 3 signs together to ask for something or tell us what he needs. He IS improving. He IS gaining more skills and growing and turning into a wonderful beautiful boy.

Maybe I've been holding him back because I just keep looking at tests and waiting for results instead of  watching him to do his thing.

**cue MAJOR mom guilt**

**and lots of tears**

Since I've been so focused on finding out the why, I haven't noticed the how. We had family pictures taken on Friday and I think there is only one picture with him looking at the camera, because he was constantly looking around and trying to see if there were any dogs or bunnies he could chase. He was just go go going all the time.

He is fearless. He is brave. He is a heck of a lot stronger than you think, especially when he wants to keep something you are trying to take away from him. He loves people so fiercely, especially his sister and brother. He hates being put in a stroller because he just wants to walk ev-er-y-where. He gets mad when he doesn't want to do something, and laughs so hard when he is happy. His smile lights up the room when he sees someone he loves and practically falls out of your arms to reach for them.

It was a rough weekend, trying to process the news and see what would be best for our family moving forward. And all we are going to do now is love. We're hanging up our hats (for now) on searching for answers. We're taking a step back and are going to continue with therapy and preschool and doing typical toddler things.

But most importantly, we are just going to love him with all we've got.

And that will be enough.